Superstars. Summer TV Hits a New Low

Sooo I was watching this show last night, on ABC. Called Superstars. Teams of athletes/television/pop celebrities compete against each other in athletic events. It has potential, right? Yeah, right. The event that aired last night was a run/bike combo race to the Atlantis resort, followed by a kayak through fake rapids race. You get points based on where your team of two finishes, and the bottom two go to an elimination event. I could not tell you what the elimination event was last night, because I lost interest probably 2 seconds after watching it.

The thing is, I couldn’t stop watching it. They aired the full run/bike race, with some bright commentary “Bode is having some trouble! His legs look like they’re made of rubber!” (not exact quote, but to the likeness of that), and mentioning that the retired NBA basketball star is tall. Well, seriously. You would think that they might have thrown in some interesting obstacles or have some excitement along the course to entertain the American viewer with low attention span, like ninjas or marbles, but the most interesting part of the race was the the very end, when one of the teams lost their bike along the track, and blamed it on other teams. As if this wasn’t enough, the pace of the show, with likeness to a golf game played by ugly babies, made it unbearable. And the contestants on the show are boring. I am confused as to who ABC was attempting to attract to this program.

So with a little research, I discovered that it is actually a rebirth of the original 1973 show (also on ABC), which was created by figure-skater Dick Button. BBC did the same thing. Both shows were a huge hit, but, alas, times have changed. Why would adding no-name celebrities to the challenge and not changing the pacing appeal to the modern-day television watcher? And why don’t they have interesting athletes, like the ones who would sabotage other teams and perhaps molest the host (oh, excuse me, analyst)? ABC, get your act together. It’s all I can do to wait and see what this summer’s season of Wipeout will bring, and if it will possibly reignite my interest to turn on the t.v.

Note: this show is so awful, I couldn’t even find an interesting picture to go with it.


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